Yep, you read the headline correctly, Disney has announced a huge slate of films - from existing Disney brands such as Pixar, Marvel and Lucasfilm, as well as recent aquisitions like Fox - they'll be releaseing between now and 2027.
There's a lot to unpack here. Among the most exciting is eight new Marvel movies, a new Star Wars trilogy releasing biannually from 2022, and a fifth Indiana Jones film set for release on July 9th, 2021. There's also Avatar sequels in 2021, 2023, 2025 and 2027, if you're into that sort of thing.
I know beggers can't be choosers, but I can't help but feel they've missed out on some big ideas. Here's what I'd like to see.
1. A live action The Great Mouse Detective remake
What if the mouse who lived in Sherlock Holmes' house was also a brilliant detective? And what if that little mouse were given the chance to gross one billion dollars at the international box office? Disney's live action remakes of animated classics have been a huge hit with audiences, and many more are on the way, with The Lion King coming later this year and four live action remakes set for both 2021 and 2022. The Great Mouse Detective is one of Disney's best, and there are so many Sherlock Holmes adaptations already, what's one more? Please cast Tommy Wiseau as the evil Professor Ratigan.
Indiana Jones 5 to be set in the 90s
I would just like the franchise to acknowledge the hit song "Dr Jones" by 90s Eurobeat group Aqua. I don't care how the films producers get Indy to the 1990s, but featuring the song within the film's narrative would be the perfect little wink to the audience to say "yes, we hear you." The film should be called Indiana Jones: In the 90s!.
3. Maybe a nice little film about duckies
When was the last time Disney made a nice, wholesome animation about cute animals? Disney have animated projects lined up for 2020, 2021 and 2022 and they'd be fools to not make one of these about our feathered friends. Think about them as Minions, but with two eyes. Boom. Instant hit.
4. A Star Wars film that respects the laws of physics
I'm going to be ropeable if the next Star Wars trilogy doesn't begin with a lecture explaining how the physics of every weapon, spaceship and planet work before we get into the action. Then, before and during every action scene, there should be little subtitles onscreen explaining the science so there aren't any plotholes. Escapism is for idiots, I'm much smarter than everybody and demand realism in this saga. I know I'm not the only one. Also, please bing back Dexter Jetster, I love that four-armed freak!
5. Actually, just give me a whole Dexter Jettster trilogy.
You can read the full Disney release schedule here.
Mouse image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.